Lydia Davis’ Essentials for Good Writing Habits as Applied for Good Mental Health
+ Alain de Botton on what makes someone interesting, Japanese "forest bathing" for a healthier life, and more
In her tome Essays One (2019), the acclaimed writer, Lydia Davis discusses the craft of writing, art, and meaning among other things.
She also shares with us her “Thirty Recommendations for Good Writing.” As I read them, I couldn’t help but think that some of them would also be useful in daily life.
Below are my five favorites of her recommendations with my reflections.
Essays One by Lydia Davis, 2019. Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
Rec. 1
After a session of writing, leave some clear time in which you can note down what your brain will continue to offer you. In other words, do not go directly from writing to lunch with friends or to a class. Do not go straight to your emails or your phone. Leave at least fifteen minutes completely open. Do the dishes or take a walk or shower - do something physical in which you can remain open to your random thoughts. Your brain will offer you a few more good ideas during this time. Don’t lose them by silencing them with other activities.
Davis' suggestion to incorporate time for reflection following writing can also be used following any number of mental tasks in everyday life. There’s evidence underlying the notion that breaks facilitating mental processing can strengthen creative thinking, alleviate stress, and enhance overall well-being.
Trying to carve out moments of mental idleness, an important commodity seemingly dwindling in today's world, can be difficult, particularly if you’re a parent.
Still, check your screen time on your phone. I imagine that there’s quite a bit of time spent on that thing that you could spare for a bit of idleness. I definitely could.
Try leaving behind your phone and embark on a brief stroll. In defiance to chronic productivity, scale back on your many goals for the year. Opt for a 20-minute nap (unless true insomnia plagues you). Marvel at some trees for a few minutes. When the impulse to reach for your phone strikes at home, instead, indulge in gazing out of your window.
Gazing out the window. Occasionally, I find myself doing just that, usually following my dog’s lead. I notice I slip into a state of ease. This might be why I find pleasure in riding buses and trains. The built-in gazing outside factor. And the simple internal stillness that can come with it.
But our tendency to avoid such “idleness practices” often stems from discomfort with potential internal revelations when not engrossed in or merely distracted by a mental task.
Could it be an unsettling emotion or thought? Restlessness? Worries about squandering time or missing out? Or even existential unease?
See if that’s what might be going on. And name it.
Self-Portrait, 1972. Francis Bacon. Oil on canvas. 14 × 12 in. (35.5 × 30.5 cm). The Estate of Francis Bacon.
Which leads me to Davis’ next recommendation, Rec 2.
If you want to be original, cultivate yourself, enrich your mind, develop your empathy, your understanding of other human beings.
In line with this premise, in the following video, the philosopher Alain de Botton elegantly describes the way to be interesting in life is..
by becoming the best possible travelers inside ourselves.
What both Davis and de Botton are getting at is about cultivating a quality that is less about our external abilities and more about what we do with our inner world.
de Botton suggests that as we engage in internal reflection and actively become familiar with our various discomforts, dark parts, and quirks, we develop greater understanding and acceptance of them. This can afford more security being within ourself and less bothered by what others think about us.
As a result, we can create a “safe” place for the person in front of us to share their own inner struggles, fostering empathy and “reciprocity” leading to deeper connections and contentment.
You can watch the 4-minute animation for his complete thesis on this.
Rec. 3
Be curious— be curious about as much as possible. Think, generally, about how curious you are, or are not, as a person. If you are not very curious, think about why not. And try to cultivate curiosity.
There are a number of benefits to cultivating curiosity about ourself, the world, and others. These range from problem-solving skills and innovation to being more empathetic and having deeper relationships with others through an ability to foster intimacy and closeness. That ability is an important ingredient in mental health and overall well-being.
This supports Davis' and de Botton’s premise that showing interest is more important to developing and preserving meaningful connections than appearing interesting to someone else in the more conventional sense. The conventional sense being the external qualities one might have and show that could intrigue someone at first such as professional achievement, travel experiences, hobbies, sense of style and so forth.
So now to the practicalities. Although there is a lot to say about body language, subtle communication cues, and other elements that go into effectively relating to others, I’ll briefly focus on language.
Demonstrating curiosity directly can be achieved by posing open-ended questions that effectively show your interest in another person. Initiate questions with words like "why," "how," "what," and "where." Avoid using phrases like "did you" or "didn't you," as they may prompt restrictive "yes" or "no" responses, rather than fostering further discussion.
Enhancing open-ended questions with follow-up inquiries can encourage storytelling, enriching conversations with rapport and depth, unlike only sharing facts about oneself, which can restrict engagement and interest.
Storytelling trumps fact sharing.
Rec. 4
Keep in touch with the physical world.
Here, Davis goes on to highlight the importance of maintaining contact with animals and the natural world. A world to experience through all of our senses she notes.
This is the whole premise of Qing Li’s Forest Bathing (2018) for good physical and mental health.
This is a book I love to pick up and peruse every now and then. With its photos displaying verdant forests and the tactile experience of its quality pages, it offers a sensory experience.
Forest Bathing by Qing Li, 2018. Penguin Random House.
“Shinrin-roku” is the Japanese art and science of “forest bath” or “bathing.” It’s physically being in a forest or near nature and intentionally paying attention to and experiencing it through all of our five senses.
Practices can involve taking leisurely strolls or simply sitting and observing what is surrounding you.
Benefits to that have been shown to include improvements in mood, boosts to the immune system, better sleep, and lower blood pressure and heart rate.
This is a practice that seems all the more important given the discouraging US national statistics on how we seem to be spending our time more and more.
We are spending about 90% of our time indoors.
The average time spent daily on a phone (excluding time talking) is projected to increase from a total of 3.75 hrs in 2019 to 4.65 hrs in 2024.
And we are spending +10 hrs daily on all of our devices.
I’m letting these numbers sink in for a moment.
While the specific forest bathing protocol suggests spending two hours in a forest at a given time, there’s research evidence on the mental and physical benefits of briefer time spent in urban green spaces as well.
Even viewing images of nature have been shown to have positive health benefits.
A review paper (2019) synthesizing data from 37 studies on this topic also found that looking at real life “green plants, flowers and/or wooden materials” indoors led to experiencing relaxation assessed by heart rate, blood pressure, and pain control among other health indicators.
*For those living in NYC, New York Botanical Gardens offers guided meditations for two of their walking paths with maps in service of “shinrin-roku.”*
And lastly, Rec. 5
Finally, maintain humility(…)
Humility has its roots in ancient life and philosophy. It’s characterized by a modest and respectful attitude towards oneself and others. It involves an acknowledgment of one's own limitations, vulnerabilities, and imperfections, without diminishing one's self-worth or value.
Humble people tend to demonstrate an openness to learning from others, a willingness to admit mistakes, and a lack of arrogance or pretentiousness.
Here’s a good read on humility and its psychological benefits (2018) from the Center of Healthy Minds (at UW-Madison), a leading research institute on the science of well-being and contemplative practices including mindfulness.
Similar to curiosity, a notable advantage of humility seems to be its important role in fostering deeper relationships.
Center of Healthy Minds provides 3 specific ways to be more humble:
Focus on commonalities with other people.
The practice of humility involves reflecting on what we share with others; our strengths and weaknesses, the pursuit of a meaningful life, and enduring pain and suffering. Acknowledging our shared fallibility and humanity reminds us that we’re not so different from each other. Neither better or worse.
Practice gratitude regularly.
Expressing gratitude can foster “perspective” and a broader sense of connection. Try identifying something you are grateful for everyday.
Cultivate a sense of awe.
Awe involves a sense of reverence and being humbled or inspired by the beauty, magnitude, or mystery of what is experienced. Awe can give insight into our place in the world.
Noticing a sense of awe requires being present and attentive to what’s happening around us. We can experience awe in response to nature, a profound act of kindness, or a piece of art or music.
And with that last one, I’ll leave you with my list of music that sparks awe in me. Take what your body responds to and leave the rest. Enjoy.